THE GREATEST LESSON.
Each Era of my life has taught me different lessons, but the most important and universal lesson I've learned is to pour into yourself first. You can't pour anything for anyone else if your cup is empty.
Even if you feel unimportant to others, make sure you are important to yourself. A lot of times we get mixed up in being important to others and showing up for others we forget to be there for ourselves. ESPECIALLY young adult women. We're at that age where it feels crucial to build relationships but the real tea is..the most crucial relationship you should be focusing on is the one with yourself.
Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, and sometimes even family may come and go but you are the constant.
In the song 'Pretty Hurts' by Beyonce she says "When you're alone all by yourself, and you're lying in your bed, reflection stares right into you. Are you happy with yourself? You stripped away the masquerade, the illusion has been shed. Are you happy with yourself?" And that’s so real, like a real question I've had to ask myself, I got so caught up with pushing to be better for work, friends, and even social media that I forgot that I had to make myself happy too.
Our self-worth is in our hands. At the end of the day we have to live with ourselves for the rest of this lifetime so, are you happy with yourself? With who you are, with what you see, with what you represent? And instead of trying to change yourself to be loved by others, love who you are right now. The only opinion that matters is yours.
One of my self-love practices is looking in the mirror and repeating "I love you". As much as it feels good to hear it from other people, it feels so much better coming from yourself to yourself. I don’t know if it's me but it can be easy to love people for who they are and what they bring to the "table" but it's so much more challenging to love myself. I think that self-love is a practice, a commitment, a ritual, and sometimes a lifestyle. It's very important to actively love yourself, no matter how much love you are surrounded with. people stay in contact with bad friends for too long, stay in bad relationships for too long, and deal with issues at work for too long. Not to clock tea or anything but someone who loves themselves doesn't put up with anything that doesn’t make them happy for too long. People who love themselves set unwavering boundaries.
And I know it's hard setting boundaries with people when you're just learning, but the first step to that is setting them with yourself. I started off with small boundaries like the language I use in my inner dialog. not allowing myself to say BAD WORDS to myself. Words like “stupid” and “dumb” CANNOT BE SAID TO MYSELF.
Self-love starts in the small things too, like making sure I do something that makes me happy every day. It could be wearing my favorite outfit 2 days in a row, taking a bath after work with candles and music, taking an edible and laughing on TikTok before bed, or stimming on a song for way too long. Everything starts within.
